I realize that I have a lot of worth while goals. At certain points this last year, I've woken up with all the energy in the world to conquer them all. Truth is- very few of them stuck.
Sure- my goal to make my bed every morning was set in June when I bought my new bedset- and I have accomplished it. It is so wonderful to come home each afternoon to a made bed.
In August, I was so excited to start my new life at my new school I made several charts to help me log my goals- exercise lists, menus, "take care of your soul" ideas, project deadlines- and honestly, I didn't do any of it for more than a week. Life caught up with me and things got crazy at the school. My personal life went from under control to out of control and really- I just didn't reach many of my goals.
In October, I decided on one goal to focus on- reading the Bible on a regular basis, and reading the whole thing in six months. I started reading in the evening before I went to bed. I haven't read it every day, but I didn't miss a day the first three weeks. The first time I missed a day, I missed it. Then I started reading in the morning too. Again, I haven't made it every day, but I do read most mornings. It is now part of my routine- and my goal is looking pretty good.
Two weeks ago, I set another goal. I wanted to go one week without eating out for dinner. (Not lunch- I'm never at my house on the weekends.) I went to the store, bought some groceries, and made a menu. It has now been 15 days and I haven't missed a meal. I am actually enjoying cooking and look forward to my meals. I don't miss eating out like I thought I would, though I do admit I was craving stuffed crust pizza this afternoon. It gives me left overs to eat at school, and I think it is saving me money.
So, I've decided the key to keeping goals for me is to focus on one goal at a time, until it becomes habit. Once one goal is a habit, then I can move on to the another goal.
I do admit- this is not easy for me. I feel so accomplished with my new eating habit, I am motivated to accomplish all of these other things. However, I know that doing it that way isn't going to work for me.
So- these are the habits I would like to develop... one at a time so they stick.
- Physical activity on a daily basis (even something small like a walk)
- Drink 8 cups of water a day (which will hopefully result in drinking less soda)
- Write/read four times a week for myself- not school
- Spend one day a week not doing any work or just watching TV- but do something different than normal
Even writing these, I think to myself, why can't I just do all of this now?
Friday, February 11, 2011
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Music Monday on a Thursday
This song came on my Pandora radio a few weeks ago, and it just made me smile. It is the song that I play as I fall asleep at night now- when I am happy and at peace and want a song that matches my mood.
I don't actually know why this song speaks to me, but it speaks to me in the depths of my soul.
Hello World lyrics
Lady Antebellum
Songwriters: Douglas, Tom; Lane, Tony; Lee, David;
Traffic cars, cell phone calls, top video screams at me
Through my tender window I see a little girl, rust red minivan
She's got chocolate on her face, got little hands
And she waves at me, yeah, she smiles at me
Well, hello world, how've you been?
Good to see you, my old friend
Sometimes I feel cold as steel
Broken like I'm never gonna heal
I see a light, little hole in the little girl
Well, hello world
Every day I drive by a little white church
It's got these little white crosses like angels in the yard
Maybe I should stop on in and say a prayer
Maybe talk to God like he is there
Oh, I know He's there, yeah, I know He's there
Well, hello world, how've you been?
Good to see you, my old friend
Sometimes I feel as cold as steel
And broken like I'm never gonna heal
I see a light, little grace, little faith unfurl
Well, hello world
Sometimes I forget what living's for
And I hear my life through my front door
And I'll be there, oh, I'm home again
I see my wife, little boy, little girl
Hello world, hello world
Oh, the empty disappears
I remember why I'm here
To surrender and believe
I fall down on my knees
Oh hello world, hello world, hello world
I don't actually know why this song speaks to me, but it speaks to me in the depths of my soul.
Hello World lyrics
Lady Antebellum
Songwriters: Douglas, Tom; Lane, Tony; Lee, David;
Traffic cars, cell phone calls, top video screams at me
Through my tender window I see a little girl, rust red minivan
She's got chocolate on her face, got little hands
And she waves at me, yeah, she smiles at me
Well, hello world, how've you been?
Good to see you, my old friend
Sometimes I feel cold as steel
Broken like I'm never gonna heal
I see a light, little hole in the little girl
Well, hello world
Every day I drive by a little white church
It's got these little white crosses like angels in the yard
Maybe I should stop on in and say a prayer
Maybe talk to God like he is there
Oh, I know He's there, yeah, I know He's there
Well, hello world, how've you been?
Good to see you, my old friend
Sometimes I feel as cold as steel
And broken like I'm never gonna heal
I see a light, little grace, little faith unfurl
Well, hello world
Sometimes I forget what living's for
And I hear my life through my front door
And I'll be there, oh, I'm home again
I see my wife, little boy, little girl
Hello world, hello world
Oh, the empty disappears
I remember why I'm here
To surrender and believe
I fall down on my knees
Oh hello world, hello world, hello world
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Jr. High Girls + 9:00am + Sugar Overload = Not a good thing.
We are half way done with the yearbook. That means we get to have a small party.
Yearbook is first period. I suggested donuts, bagels, etc.
They voted for rootbeer floats and donuts.
The principal was so grossed out by the idea he refused to join us. He did eat a donut though.
Some girls twirled in cirlces until they fell down. Two girls walked up to me and started chanting, "Butterfly, butterfly, fly, fly..." in high pitched voices. A group of girls attempted to recreate the movie Tangled, and it didn't go well.
The best part however involved the cake that one of my students brought. Two girls got into a little frosting fight, and smeared BRIGHT (neon!) frosting on each other's faces. They left to wash it off, and when they returned, they informed me that frosting stains. They both are walking around all day with bright pink spots all over their faces.
I am laughing with them all...
With a first period like that, who wouldn't have a good day?
Yearbook is first period. I suggested donuts, bagels, etc.
They voted for rootbeer floats and donuts.
The principal was so grossed out by the idea he refused to join us. He did eat a donut though.
Some girls twirled in cirlces until they fell down. Two girls walked up to me and started chanting, "Butterfly, butterfly, fly, fly..." in high pitched voices. A group of girls attempted to recreate the movie Tangled, and it didn't go well.
The best part however involved the cake that one of my students brought. Two girls got into a little frosting fight, and smeared BRIGHT (neon!) frosting on each other's faces. They left to wash it off, and when they returned, they informed me that frosting stains. They both are walking around all day with bright pink spots all over their faces.
I am laughing with them all...
With a first period like that, who wouldn't have a good day?
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Rainbows
"Life is like a rainbow- you needs both the sun and the rain to make its colors appear."
I come across this quote today, and it made me smile. It is a good thought to have in my head- and is something I truly believe in the depths of my soul. (This is due to my mother telling me my whole life that things will always work out, and even the bad things happen for a reason.)
So, once again- my list of rain and the rainbows it brought into my life...
Leaving Arizona, August 11, 1996 = cross-country, FCCLA, mock trial, Odyssey Worlds, YCC, Key Club, and wonderful people.
Forgetting my speech, July 1999 = five years of touring the country promoting a cause I believe in, while getting paid
Getting kicked out college required classes twice after a change in prereq's = postponing student teaching a semester = my job at Oak Canyon as a yearbook advisor, debate teacher, track coach = my job at Vista Heights teaching GT, yearbook, debate, and being department chair and data specialist!
CJK, Spring 2006 = giving up depression inducing medication and being much happier
PABM, Spring 2010 = my Mustang, San Fransisco, Mt. Rushmore, the Redwoods, Houston, sunrises, cooking, self-sufficiency, & amazing friends = finding my soul.
It has been a week where all the great things in my life are shining through brightly- and I know the rain had as much to do with it as the sun.
I come across this quote today, and it made me smile. It is a good thought to have in my head- and is something I truly believe in the depths of my soul. (This is due to my mother telling me my whole life that things will always work out, and even the bad things happen for a reason.)
So, once again- my list of rain and the rainbows it brought into my life...
Leaving Arizona, August 11, 1996 = cross-country, FCCLA, mock trial, Odyssey Worlds, YCC, Key Club, and wonderful people.
Forgetting my speech, July 1999 = five years of touring the country promoting a cause I believe in, while getting paid
Getting kicked out college required classes twice after a change in prereq's = postponing student teaching a semester = my job at Oak Canyon as a yearbook advisor, debate teacher, track coach = my job at Vista Heights teaching GT, yearbook, debate, and being department chair and data specialist!
CJK, Spring 2006 = giving up depression inducing medication and being much happier
PABM, Spring 2010 = my Mustang, San Fransisco, Mt. Rushmore, the Redwoods, Houston, sunrises, cooking, self-sufficiency, & amazing friends = finding my soul.
It has been a week where all the great things in my life are shining through brightly- and I know the rain had as much to do with it as the sun.
Monday, February 7, 2011
What a Good Day
Today is one of those days when I came home, looked at myself in the mirror, smiled and said, "Good job Jamie."
The day started with a message from a dear person in my life telling me they think I'm amazing. How does your day not go well when it starts with that?
Then this morning, I hammered out our English department portfolio. It just seemed to fall into place, even though for the last few weeks it just hasn't been working for me. (Hence the reason I put it off until the day it was due.)
Yearbook- deadline today. My students were great and I finished everything I could do for it with lots of class time to spare.
After first period, the counselor walked in with his "student teacher." He said she needed to observe a master teacher, and wondered if she could sit in my class for 20 minutes. Me? A master teacher? Sure... and honestly, I felt really good about what she watched. It was a good activity.
During prep period I worked on our PowerPoint for our presentation. It also came together really well- and I'm not sure why I've been dreading doing it for a week now. The department came in at 1:30, and they were impressed with it too. We actually had a lot of fun adding to it, revising it, and planning out the actual presentation. I was completely nervous for us, but at the same time, I knew we were ready. We are a good department, and all we had to do was show off.
Our English presentation went so well! My department just flowed... and listening to us, I was impressed by all of them and by all of the work we did this fall.
At the end of the presentation, our principal said he had one question. "You mentioned that your goal was for 80% of your students to pass..." And I interrupted (not a proud moment) and said, "Before you continue, can I correct you on that? Our goal is for EVERY student to score 80% or above. We know that may seem impossible, but it our goal that all students succeed." He said, "Sorry- that was actually what I was going to question. That's all I needed to know."
I feel pretty good about that because when we wrote our goals, I FOUGHT the department to choose EVERY student. They kept telling me that we'd never realistically achieve that, but I told them it didn't matter how many goals we checked off the list, but that we had to set a goal for EVERY child. They agreed and we worked out our goals.
And today, they realized I knew what I was talking about. And that felt good.
After the three hour department meeting- I finished up the yearbook deadline. I was done at the stroke of five. Half the book is complete... and it is going to be good.
As I was leaving the school, one of the panel members stopped me. She told me my department works better together than any other department in the school, even though we're the largest group. She also said that they were impressed with our organization and portfolio (the one from this morning), and it made their scoring very easy. She was very impressed with us.
And to top it all off- even though it was a crazy busy day- I came home and cooked dinner. That makes eleven days of not eating dinner out. I'm pretty proud of myself.
What. A. Good. Day.
The day started with a message from a dear person in my life telling me they think I'm amazing. How does your day not go well when it starts with that?
Then this morning, I hammered out our English department portfolio. It just seemed to fall into place, even though for the last few weeks it just hasn't been working for me. (Hence the reason I put it off until the day it was due.)
Yearbook- deadline today. My students were great and I finished everything I could do for it with lots of class time to spare.
After first period, the counselor walked in with his "student teacher." He said she needed to observe a master teacher, and wondered if she could sit in my class for 20 minutes. Me? A master teacher? Sure... and honestly, I felt really good about what she watched. It was a good activity.
During prep period I worked on our PowerPoint for our presentation. It also came together really well- and I'm not sure why I've been dreading doing it for a week now. The department came in at 1:30, and they were impressed with it too. We actually had a lot of fun adding to it, revising it, and planning out the actual presentation. I was completely nervous for us, but at the same time, I knew we were ready. We are a good department, and all we had to do was show off.
Our English presentation went so well! My department just flowed... and listening to us, I was impressed by all of them and by all of the work we did this fall.
At the end of the presentation, our principal said he had one question. "You mentioned that your goal was for 80% of your students to pass..." And I interrupted (not a proud moment) and said, "Before you continue, can I correct you on that? Our goal is for EVERY student to score 80% or above. We know that may seem impossible, but it our goal that all students succeed." He said, "Sorry- that was actually what I was going to question. That's all I needed to know."
I feel pretty good about that because when we wrote our goals, I FOUGHT the department to choose EVERY student. They kept telling me that we'd never realistically achieve that, but I told them it didn't matter how many goals we checked off the list, but that we had to set a goal for EVERY child. They agreed and we worked out our goals.
And today, they realized I knew what I was talking about. And that felt good.
After the three hour department meeting- I finished up the yearbook deadline. I was done at the stroke of five. Half the book is complete... and it is going to be good.
As I was leaving the school, one of the panel members stopped me. She told me my department works better together than any other department in the school, even though we're the largest group. She also said that they were impressed with our organization and portfolio (the one from this morning), and it made their scoring very easy. She was very impressed with us.
And to top it all off- even though it was a crazy busy day- I came home and cooked dinner. That makes eleven days of not eating dinner out. I'm pretty proud of myself.
What. A. Good. Day.
Music Monday
I heard this song on my way home from my family's house after the SuperBowl. It just struck a chord with me.
I admit, I enjoy the Bachelor, so I had to laugh that it is referenced in the song. I won't stop and claim that it is "real" though.
Read - James Wesley
I admit, I enjoy the Bachelor, so I had to laugh that it is referenced in the song. I won't stop and claim that it is "real" though.
Read - James Wesley
500 channels and there ain’t much on tonight But reality shows about some folk’s so-called lives A pretty girl cries because she doesn’t get a rose But she’ll find love next year on her own show And they call that real Real, is a hand you hold for 57 years… Real, is a band of gold trembling with fear… It’s the first long tear down an old man’s face Watching his angel slipping away His heart so broke that it’s never gonna heal I call that real. Where I live housewives don’t act like that And the survivors are farmers in John Deere Hats Our amazing race is beating the check Prayin that the bank ain’t ran it through yet Real, like too much rain falling from the sky, Real, like the drought that came around here last July, It’s the damn old weevils and the market and the weeds The prayer they prayed when they plant the seeds And the chance they take to bring us all our next meal I call that real (solo) Real, like a job you lose because it moves to Mexico Like a momma and a baby with no safe place to go Like a little dream house with a little foreclose sign Like a flag-draped coffin and a 21 gun goodbye I call that real Man, I call that real Oh, I call that real
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Dear Jarod
Two years ago JJ- you left us. You left us by choice.
And I miss you.
You were a brilliant, talented, amazing man. You played the violin better than anyone, and more important to me, you were so patient with the fact that I couldn't even tune my own instrument. You could solve any problem, defeat any witness, and plan an incredibly fun, yet unique date.
More important- you were a friend. We went through our first loves together and our first heartaches. When my world was crashing down, you held it together. When I wanted more than anything to laugh, you made it happen. When you knew I had a horrible day, you drove around the county for an hour trying to find my truck, just so you could check in.
More than all of this, you were a good father, a good son, and a good friend to so many other people.
But, you didn't know all this about yourself.
Tonight Jarod, I will cry tears of compassion as I think of your family and friends. I will cry tears of regret, knowing I had a chance to change your future, and I chose a different path. I will cry tears of anguish as I think of how much pain you were in. And, mostly, I will cry selfish tears of pain for myself, because I miss you.
Tomorrow, I will get up and smile, knowing that I have a chance to be a better friend, the chance to make the right decision for someone else, and grateful that I knew someone like you.
And I miss you.
You were a brilliant, talented, amazing man. You played the violin better than anyone, and more important to me, you were so patient with the fact that I couldn't even tune my own instrument. You could solve any problem, defeat any witness, and plan an incredibly fun, yet unique date.
More important- you were a friend. We went through our first loves together and our first heartaches. When my world was crashing down, you held it together. When I wanted more than anything to laugh, you made it happen. When you knew I had a horrible day, you drove around the county for an hour trying to find my truck, just so you could check in.
More than all of this, you were a good father, a good son, and a good friend to so many other people.
But, you didn't know all this about yourself.
Tonight Jarod, I will cry tears of compassion as I think of your family and friends. I will cry tears of regret, knowing I had a chance to change your future, and I chose a different path. I will cry tears of anguish as I think of how much pain you were in. And, mostly, I will cry selfish tears of pain for myself, because I miss you.
Tomorrow, I will get up and smile, knowing that I have a chance to be a better friend, the chance to make the right decision for someone else, and grateful that I knew someone like you.
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