It is only the 24th, but I already know tomorrow is going to be a day full of every emotion. I'm trying to ignore it, but it isn't working.
September 25, 2010. For 24 hours the two most difficult things I remember dealing with as an adult will converge. And I will live through it.
There will be tears... and smiles. And I'm dreading knowing tomorrow is coming, but also grateful that in only 26 hours, the day will be over.
Jarod- tomorrow I walk in memory of you. I walk in memory of all the good times we had yelling at each other, and arguing in math. I've never gotten into so much trouble in a class- all because you wouldn't do your homework until I explained it the next day. I will walk and remember riding busses with you, and running with you, and playing pool with you... I will walk remembering the good times.
You left us too soon, and I miss you. I wish you'd known how much you'd be missed, and maybe you would have decided to stay.
Andrew- six years tomorrow. I can't really write anything more about it. Everything I type just makes me sound hurt and angry, but truthfully I'm not. On a day to day basis, I am happy. I find joy in life, and I hate that every thought I have about our anniversary is bitter. The thoughts I have about you aren't... I remember the good in you. But September 25th doesn't have a happy ending...
I will survive tomorrow. I will laugh with my mom, sister, and friends. I will have moments when I will forget all the things that tomorrow means. And in the silence, I will remember all the good I can.
I promise.
1 comment:
I am glad that I was able to be with you on this day! I am sorry you had to deal with all of this! You are such an amazing woman and all the hurt will go away! Maybe not today or tomorrow but I know in the end you will be on top and be stronger because of all this! Remember you have me whenever you need me! I love you!
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