Two years ago JJ- you left us. You left us by choice.
And I miss you.
You were a brilliant, talented, amazing man. You played the violin better than anyone, and more important to me, you were so patient with the fact that I couldn't even tune my own instrument. You could solve any problem, defeat any witness, and plan an incredibly fun, yet unique date.
More important- you were a friend. We went through our first loves together and our first heartaches. When my world was crashing down, you held it together. When I wanted more than anything to laugh, you made it happen. When you knew I had a horrible day, you drove around the county for an hour trying to find my truck, just so you could check in.
More than all of this, you were a good father, a good son, and a good friend to so many other people.
But, you didn't know all this about yourself.
Tonight Jarod, I will cry tears of compassion as I think of your family and friends. I will cry tears of regret, knowing I had a chance to change your future, and I chose a different path. I will cry tears of anguish as I think of how much pain you were in. And, mostly, I will cry selfish tears of pain for myself, because I miss you.
Tomorrow, I will get up and smile, knowing that I have a chance to be a better friend, the chance to make the right decision for someone else, and grateful that I knew someone like you.
2 comments:
While I cannot share your sweet sentiments, I understand your anguish. I see it so frequently in my son, and so often wish things could have been different for him. I want so badly for him to know you. Though I'm unsure exactly why, I know it would be good for both of you. This is why I was (and am) so excited at the idea of the possibility of you teaching him in your class. <3
Crystal-
I understand your feeling. I want to know him, though I am not sure why either. I hope someday I have him in my classes. <3 to you and your son.
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