I don't turn 30 for another five months, and I am already not happy about this. I feel like I am getting older, without having so many things that I wanted to have by thirty.
Not that I regret the direction I have taken in life- I love my life and am quite happy with it. However, I also feel like that are certain things that I am running out of time to pursue. I feel like I am behind on so many things.
I feel old.
Is 30 old? Is it too old to change my career? Is it too old to start over in a new place? It is too old to begin a family? It is too old to decide in the middle of the night to take a few days off and go on vacation?
In my head I know that 30 isn't too old to do anything. I have seen and known people who have done amazing things after 30.
I was just the person who planned out my life to the every detail- but I stopped at 30. I haven't fulfilled the plan and I feel like my time is up. It is like the Mayan calendar ending. We've looked to that calendar for so long- what will we look at when it has ended?
Oh the things I want to still do... I almost feel like I have wasted my 20's. Don't take that the wrong way- I really have loved my 20's- but could I have done more?
I guess the regretting won't actually do any good. I guess all I can do now is try to concentrate on doing the things after 30 that I didn't get to before.
So, here is the plan. Maybe if I start now, turning 30 in five months won't be so difficult...
I will apply for my Master's degree after I get paid in March. I will be accepted (Right???) because the program is "non-competitive" and I will register for classes next fall. In 2.5 years, I will have the license to be a principal.
I will start saving money for a trip to Peru. It is top on my list of "Places I want to Visit but Probably Never Will." That list needs to disappear, starting with Peru.
I will have a party for my 30th birthday. (Andy has already been told that this party would happen, since I haven't had a birthday party since I was 17...???)
I will do something "Once in a lifetime..." for my 30th. I am thinking skydiving...
I need to embrace thirty... and I have five months to get to it.
