Thanks to a friend's blog, I found reverb10. It gives prompts to help you reflect over your year. And, since 2010 is going to go down as an extremely life altering year, I figure this would be a good thing to do. Now, it is supposed to be done once a day for the month of December. I'm obviously starting late- 31 prompts in 12 days? Let's try 3 a day-
December 1 – One Word. Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you? (Author: Gwen Bell)
Change: my personal life, my job, my car, my house, myself. What hasn't changed?
What do I want my word to be in 2011? Bliss.
December 2 – Writing. What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it? (Author: Leo Babauta)
I don't get this prompt because I don't value writing daily. However- what gets in the way of me doing what I love? Worrying about my future. I want answers and when I don't have them I am distracted from everything else. I know it will all work out, and I am working on putting my worries in God's hands.
December 3 – Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors). (Author: Ali Edwards)
Mud splashed onto my jeans as a jumped into the puddle that was on the side of a Utah back road. Raindrops drenched my head and outstretched arms. I twirled in the puddle as fast as I could, until I was so dizzy I almost fell over. Then, I jumped- up and down, up and down- over and over. Water soaked my jeans up to me knees. I paused, and looked up at the sky. I opened my mouth, and I screamed. I screamed at the top of my lungs- not caring who heard me.
My scream echoed off the rolling green hills nearby. I snickered when I saw the cows- perfectly ignoring me. I wiped the rain from my face and smiled. As I walked back to my Mustang, my flip-flops squeaked. I got back in my car, and continued driving home from Arizona.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Monday, December 13, 2010
Music Monday
I heard this song for the first time on the way home today. I had to laugh, because, well- more of a few things are me. (Ignore the chorus- focus on the versus)
Blake Shelton- Who are you when I'm not lookin'?
My oh my, you're so good-looking
Hold yourself together like a pair of bookends
But I've not tasted all your cooking
Who are you when I'm not looking?
Do you pour a little something on the rocks?
Slide down the hallway in your socks?
When you undress, do you leave a path?
Then sink to your nose in a bubble bath?
My oh my, you're so good-looking
Hold yourself together like a pair of bookends
But I've not tasted all your cooking
Who are you when I'm not looking?
I wanna know
I wanna know
I wanna know
Do you break things when you get mad?
Eat a box of chocolates 'cause you're feelin' bad?
Do you paint your toes 'cause you bite your nails?
Call up momma when all else fails?
Who are you when I'm not around?
When the door is locked and the shades are down?
Do you listen to your music quietly?
And when it feels just right, are you thinkin' of me?
Blake Shelton- Who are you when I'm not lookin'?
My oh my, you're so good-looking
Hold yourself together like a pair of bookends
But I've not tasted all your cooking
Who are you when I'm not looking?
Do you pour a little something on the rocks?
Slide down the hallway in your socks?
When you undress, do you leave a path?
Then sink to your nose in a bubble bath?
My oh my, you're so good-looking
Hold yourself together like a pair of bookends
But I've not tasted all your cooking
Who are you when I'm not looking?
I wanna know
I wanna know
I wanna know
Do you break things when you get mad?
Eat a box of chocolates 'cause you're feelin' bad?
Do you paint your toes 'cause you bite your nails?
Call up momma when all else fails?
Who are you when I'm not around?
When the door is locked and the shades are down?
Do you listen to your music quietly?
And when it feels just right, are you thinkin' of me?
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Metacognition: Thinking about my own thinking
To explain this blog, I first quote Eat, Pray, Love and Elizabeth Gilbert's description of her mind's enemies: Depression & Loneliness.
"Depression and Loneliness track me down after about ten days in Italy. ...
They come upon me all silent and menacing like Pinkerton Detectives, and they flank me- Depression on my left, Loneliness on my right. They don't need to show me their badges. I know these guys very well. We've been playing a cat-and-mouse game for years now...
I say to them, "How did you find me here? Who told you I had come to Rome?"
Depression, always the wise guy, says, "What- you're not happy to see us?"
"Go away," I tell him.
Loneliness, the more sensitve cop, says "I'm sorry ma'am. But I might have to tail you the whole time you're travelling. It's my assignment."
"I'd really rather you didn't," I tell him, and he shrugs almost apologetically, but only moves closer.
Then they frisk me. They empty my pockets of any joy I had been carrying there. Depression even confiscates my identity; but he always does that. Then Loneliness starts interrogating me, which I dread because it always goes on for hours. He's polite but relentless, and he always trips me up eventually. He asks if I have any reason to be happy that I know of. He asks why I am all by myself tonight, yet again. He asks (though we've been through this line of questioning hundreds of times already) why I can't keep a relationship going, why I ruined my marriage, why I messed things up with David, why I messed things up with every man I've ever been with. He asks me where I was the night I turned thirty, and why things have gone so sour since then. He asks why I can't get my act together, and why I'm not at home living in a nice house and raising nice children like any respectable woman my age should be. He asks why, ecaxtly, I think I deserve a vacation in Rome when I've made such a rubble of my life. He asks me why I think that running away to Italy lika college kid will make me happy. He asks where I think I'll end up on my old age, if I keep living this way.
I walk back home, hoping to shake them, but they keep following me, these two goons. Depression has a firm hand on my shoulder and Loneliness harangues me with his interrogation. I don't even bother eating dinner; I don't want them watching me. I don't want to let them up the stairs to my apartment, either, but I know Depression, and he's got a billy club, so there's no stopping him from coming in if he decides that he wants to."
I was thinking about this early in the morning, as my own mental enemies showed up, Guilt and Worry have hunted me down again this week. They creep into my house in the middle of the night, and somehow sneak past the dogs. (I can only hope they'll be better watch dogs if a robber ever shows up.)
Guilt always comes first to remind me of all my flaws. Guilt points out that obviously I'm not doing absolutely everything possible to overcome them, because I'm still flawed.
Guilt comes into my dreams as lost students that I can't find. He morphs into friends and family members that chant, "You ruined my life..." Last night he arrived as a forgotten pet that died of starvation and became a fly eating zombie.
Guilt gives no credit for effort. Guilt doesn't care about the "Hindsight is 20/20" idea. Guilt follows no statute of limitations.
Worry always tags in. Just as I develop a plan to conquer Guilt, Worry points out all the things that MIGHT go wrong. There is always the possibility of hurting others. And Worry chants, "Is getting rid of Guilt worth it? You MIGHT hurt another, but you'll save yourself!"
And Guilt tags back in.
I think Worry sets this up to guarantee they both get to hang around. (Maybe Worry has a crush on Guilt?)
I think it is time for Guilt and Worry to take a vacation. :)
"Depression and Loneliness track me down after about ten days in Italy. ...
They come upon me all silent and menacing like Pinkerton Detectives, and they flank me- Depression on my left, Loneliness on my right. They don't need to show me their badges. I know these guys very well. We've been playing a cat-and-mouse game for years now...
I say to them, "How did you find me here? Who told you I had come to Rome?"
Depression, always the wise guy, says, "What- you're not happy to see us?"
"Go away," I tell him.
Loneliness, the more sensitve cop, says "I'm sorry ma'am. But I might have to tail you the whole time you're travelling. It's my assignment."
"I'd really rather you didn't," I tell him, and he shrugs almost apologetically, but only moves closer.
Then they frisk me. They empty my pockets of any joy I had been carrying there. Depression even confiscates my identity; but he always does that. Then Loneliness starts interrogating me, which I dread because it always goes on for hours. He's polite but relentless, and he always trips me up eventually. He asks if I have any reason to be happy that I know of. He asks why I am all by myself tonight, yet again. He asks (though we've been through this line of questioning hundreds of times already) why I can't keep a relationship going, why I ruined my marriage, why I messed things up with David, why I messed things up with every man I've ever been with. He asks me where I was the night I turned thirty, and why things have gone so sour since then. He asks why I can't get my act together, and why I'm not at home living in a nice house and raising nice children like any respectable woman my age should be. He asks why, ecaxtly, I think I deserve a vacation in Rome when I've made such a rubble of my life. He asks me why I think that running away to Italy lika college kid will make me happy. He asks where I think I'll end up on my old age, if I keep living this way.
I walk back home, hoping to shake them, but they keep following me, these two goons. Depression has a firm hand on my shoulder and Loneliness harangues me with his interrogation. I don't even bother eating dinner; I don't want them watching me. I don't want to let them up the stairs to my apartment, either, but I know Depression, and he's got a billy club, so there's no stopping him from coming in if he decides that he wants to."
I was thinking about this early in the morning, as my own mental enemies showed up, Guilt and Worry have hunted me down again this week. They creep into my house in the middle of the night, and somehow sneak past the dogs. (I can only hope they'll be better watch dogs if a robber ever shows up.)
Guilt always comes first to remind me of all my flaws. Guilt points out that obviously I'm not doing absolutely everything possible to overcome them, because I'm still flawed.
Guilt comes into my dreams as lost students that I can't find. He morphs into friends and family members that chant, "You ruined my life..." Last night he arrived as a forgotten pet that died of starvation and became a fly eating zombie.
Guilt gives no credit for effort. Guilt doesn't care about the "Hindsight is 20/20" idea. Guilt follows no statute of limitations.
Worry always tags in. Just as I develop a plan to conquer Guilt, Worry points out all the things that MIGHT go wrong. There is always the possibility of hurting others. And Worry chants, "Is getting rid of Guilt worth it? You MIGHT hurt another, but you'll save yourself!"
And Guilt tags back in.
I think Worry sets this up to guarantee they both get to hang around. (Maybe Worry has a crush on Guilt?)
I think it is time for Guilt and Worry to take a vacation. :)
My Funny Little Curse
Yup! I'm cursed. It is official. I'd hoped it was Oak Canyon, but the Curse of the Yearbook Hoody followed me to Vista Heights.
Follow me...
2004: Ordered yearbook hoodies from a company. Told: two weeks. Three weeks later, not done. Promised the next day. Next day? Not done. Promised the next day. Called the next day in the morning. I was told they were being printed, and would be ready in an hour. I went down to pick them up 4 hours later- and they hadn't even started! I was there for almost two hours... waiting.
2006: Yearbook hoodies ordered, promised two weeks. (Different company) Three weeks later? Not there. Needed for pictures in three days. Company owner's daughter ends up in hospital. Hoodies are delivered morning of pictures with the FRONT done, but have to be returned for the back to get done later. Five hoodies printed incorrectly.
2007: Yearbook hoodies ordered, promised two weeks (Different company). Three weeks later- not done. Art file hadn't transferred- but they hadn't mentioned it to me. Resent art file in different format. Hoodies arrive two weeks later.
2008: Yearbook hoodies ordered from original company (no one else was any good!) Three weeks later called because machine had blown up- would be another week at least to get hoodies. Created our own artwork and printing files. Charged double art fee because... no one could tell me why. Took weeks to straighten out the bill.
2009: Yearbook hoodies ordered (NEW company) and promised two weeks. No problem with art work. In less than two weeks- they were done. Went to pick them up- WRONG COLOR!
2010: Yearbook hoodies ordered (Same company as last year...). Next day phone call: Because of Breast Cancer month, no pink hoodies are available. Change colors. Redo the order. Less than two weeks later- DONE! Wrong font. Ug...
Any guesses on what will happen next year?
Or maybe it is time for me to just say, "No, we are not going to order hoodies for Yearbook."
Follow me...
2004: Ordered yearbook hoodies from a company. Told: two weeks. Three weeks later, not done. Promised the next day. Next day? Not done. Promised the next day. Called the next day in the morning. I was told they were being printed, and would be ready in an hour. I went down to pick them up 4 hours later- and they hadn't even started! I was there for almost two hours... waiting.
2006: Yearbook hoodies ordered, promised two weeks. (Different company) Three weeks later? Not there. Needed for pictures in three days. Company owner's daughter ends up in hospital. Hoodies are delivered morning of pictures with the FRONT done, but have to be returned for the back to get done later. Five hoodies printed incorrectly.
2007: Yearbook hoodies ordered, promised two weeks (Different company). Three weeks later- not done. Art file hadn't transferred- but they hadn't mentioned it to me. Resent art file in different format. Hoodies arrive two weeks later.
2008: Yearbook hoodies ordered from original company (no one else was any good!) Three weeks later called because machine had blown up- would be another week at least to get hoodies. Created our own artwork and printing files. Charged double art fee because... no one could tell me why. Took weeks to straighten out the bill.
2009: Yearbook hoodies ordered (NEW company) and promised two weeks. No problem with art work. In less than two weeks- they were done. Went to pick them up- WRONG COLOR!
2010: Yearbook hoodies ordered (Same company as last year...). Next day phone call: Because of Breast Cancer month, no pink hoodies are available. Change colors. Redo the order. Less than two weeks later- DONE! Wrong font. Ug...
Any guesses on what will happen next year?
Or maybe it is time for me to just say, "No, we are not going to order hoodies for Yearbook."
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Things I forget, but want to remember...
Sometimes, I do something that I've done before, and it is like I'm experiencing it for the first time. It makes me giddy happy. When it is done, I always ask myself, "Why don't I do this more often?"
So, this is my reminder blog- things that I overlook but that bring me joy.
1. Grading papers at Denny's. (Or reading...)
2. Playing with my dogs (My poor, poor dogs are neglected too often...)
3. Manual labor- snow shoveling, sorting food, etc.
4. Watching a sports event, and getting into it
5. Turning on my Christmas lights (PS- I added more ornaments tonight, and it looks so much better)
6. Baths- with music and books (Hmmm.... I think my plans tonight are canceled so....)
7. Wii fit or DDR
8. Scrapbooking & cross-stitching
9. Reading a book
10. Breaded pork chops
11. Walks in the mountains
12. Smelling roses in stores
And I know there are so many more... but the whole point of this blog is to remind me of things I too often forget, and well... there are obviously things I haven't remembered yet. :)
So, this is my reminder blog- things that I overlook but that bring me joy.
1. Grading papers at Denny's. (Or reading...)
2. Playing with my dogs (My poor, poor dogs are neglected too often...)
3. Manual labor- snow shoveling, sorting food, etc.
4. Watching a sports event, and getting into it
5. Turning on my Christmas lights (PS- I added more ornaments tonight, and it looks so much better)
6. Baths- with music and books (Hmmm.... I think my plans tonight are canceled so....)
7. Wii fit or DDR
8. Scrapbooking & cross-stitching
9. Reading a book
10. Breaded pork chops
11. Walks in the mountains
12. Smelling roses in stores
And I know there are so many more... but the whole point of this blog is to remind me of things I too often forget, and well... there are obviously things I haven't remembered yet. :)
Saturday, December 4, 2010
:)
Tornado
Hurricane
Spinning in the same circles
Over and over
Wondering
Analyzing
Repeating the same bad thoughts
Over and over
Sunrise
Rainbows
Bringing hope to all watchers
Again and again
Questions
Answers
Smiling with realizations
Again and again
I am just so happy, peaceful, calm, assured, confident, and thankful tonight. And, I'm going to enjoy every minute of this feeling. :)
Hurricane
Spinning in the same circles
Over and over
Wondering
Analyzing
Repeating the same bad thoughts
Over and over
Sunrise
Rainbows
Bringing hope to all watchers
Again and again
Questions
Answers
Smiling with realizations
Again and again
I am just so happy, peaceful, calm, assured, confident, and thankful tonight. And, I'm going to enjoy every minute of this feeling. :)
Saturday's Super Seven
Seven super things about my Saturday-
1. Breakfast with my dad- always nice
2. Honest conversations :)
3. My homemade lasagna was REALLY good tonight!
4. I got to help someone. It was little... but it helped.
5. I started reading Count of Monte Cristo- finally!
6. Watched a fun movie with Andy
7. Got to drive my Mustang for the first time since last Sunday.
I feel so blessed right now. Life gets more peaceful all the time. :)
1. Breakfast with my dad- always nice
2. Honest conversations :)
3. My homemade lasagna was REALLY good tonight!
4. I got to help someone. It was little... but it helped.
5. I started reading Count of Monte Cristo- finally!
6. Watched a fun movie with Andy
7. Got to drive my Mustang for the first time since last Sunday.
I feel so blessed right now. Life gets more peaceful all the time. :)
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